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jmz2005 08-03-2006 09:09 AM

5yr old has me at end of my rope
My 5yr old dd does not listen to me. When i try to put her in a time out chair she gets up and laughs, i sit her back down, this will go on for 10-15 mins before i give up with frustration. So i tried putting her in her room, she follows me right out the door and laughs at me, i walk her back in there, and we continue this scenario for quite some time. She will laugh at me and run out the front door and run from me in the yard, laughing, if i go after her. So I stopped going after her and when she came in, I would try to discipline her again, with no avail. I am at my wits end with her. If I tell my husband (her step father) when he gets home, she is sent to her room for the rest of the night, only allowed to come out for dinner. Then he gets mad at her if she falls asleep before bedtime, cause she will go in there and lay down instead of finding something constructive to do. She will listen to him, and doesnt treat me that way when he is here. They do have times when they play and she tell him "daddy I love you". But when it is just me, she kicks, screams, hits, throws things at me, and wont listen to me for anything in the world. I hate to say it, but she has her real father's temper, and I left him because he abused me. She thinks she is boss, and breaks every rule when my husband is not here. I am sorry this is so long, but I felt the need to state the facts and what i have tried. I hope someone out there has some advice on how to stop this. We constantly have to remind her of rules, she does the same things numerous times a day. PLEASE HELP ME before i have to be committed. Thank You for listening and any advice you could offer.

carlisle41139 08-05-2006 03:34 PM

5 year old
maybe since she listens to your husband, you need to tell him what's going on and let him talk to her and set some rules with her. Like if she does this or that, then he will take care of it when he gets home.

momsangels 08-06-2006 06:31 AM

I'm worried about the part you said that you left him once because he abused you...he is not abusing your daughter is he? She could be acting out at you because she knows that if she does in front of him she'll be abused...just an idea...I'm not saying your dh does because of course I am not there but a red flag went up when I read that.

About her not listening...I would take all her toys from her and only start giving them back when she listens and is being good. If that wouldn't work I would seek some professional help so that it doesn't get much worse as she gets older.

~Hugs to you~

carlisle41139 08-07-2006 01:26 AM

The thing with kids is you have to let them know who's boss or they will run over top of you. I had trouble with that situation with my 7 yr old. He tried to tell me what to do. I just had to take things away from him. But one thing that helped me with him was i made a chart on a weekly basis. If he didn't mind or talked back to me then he got an x on his chart. If he had a lot of x's then he didn't get to do anything fun for the week, but if he didn't get very many x's then he got to pick something fun to do and that was like a treat to him. Maybe you could try something like that.

navywife31802 11-02-2006 03:46 AM

I dont know how old your daughter was when you left your husband. If she was old enough to witness the abuse( children around 2 and up remember stuff like that).she may not understand that abuse towards you is not a show of love. This also will reflect in her treatment towards men in this case you husband now, since in most abusive situations like yours the men are shown obedience and I think your best bet is some play therapy to see if this is the issue. I wish you luck and commend you for your bravery in getting out of that situation as it takes a strong woman to do that.

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